How Trauma Can Be Processed Through Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS)
Internal Family Systems therapists help you process trauma by facilitating connection with your parts. Let’s say you were in a car accident while you were driving and your friend broke their arm and your were shamed for the incident instead of being offered forgiveness. A shame part may emerge that tells you you’re a terrible person, a bad friend, an incompetent driver, and fundamentally a bad person. This part may become so large and so overbearing that eventually you start to experience anxiety when driving leading to it affecting your ability to drive. This could then even then start spilling over into your romantic relationships. You feel you will never get married because all you do is hurt people and you shouldn’t be alive in the first place.
An IFS therapist will help you unpack that shame that emerged and listen to its story. Maybe the shame part actually feels really scared, or maybe it feels deep sadness for what happened. The fear and the sadness would be exiles. The shame’s role is to protect those exiles from feeling further wounding. While the shame has a very genuine and loving part to play, it is actually unintentionally driving self further from living a harmonious life (remember, now you’re having a hard time dating!) The Internal Family Systems therapist will help you to make peace with shame, learn to care for and parent the fear or the sadness and help Self to emerge to care for all of these parts so that Self can move into full integration.
It is truly amazing how powerful Internal Family Systems can be for overcoming traumatic experiences and deep wounding. And it’s all guided by you, the client, not an external person or circumstance! Internal Family Systems allows people to feel empowered and knowledgeable towards their family system.
The Role of the Self in Healing:
At our core, we all have “Self.” Self is who we truly, deeply are. Imagine if you had no pain, wounding, trauma or unprocessed experiences. Imagine who you’d like to be. I bet it looks a lot like self. You may find moments of Self emerging – these are moments when we feel curious about ourselves and others, when are calm and living in the moment, when experience great compassion towards ourselves, our parts and others. Through utilizing internal family systems therapy with a skilled clinician, you can work towards having Self run your system most of the time and reaching true integration and wholeness. Self helps us appreciate all of our parts and allows them space and time to process while not feeling overwhelmed or burdened by the chaos. Self can help us heal from trauma when we take time to listen to what Self is saying and allow Self to connect with and parent our wounded parts.
Why Internal Family Systems is So Effective:
Internal Family Systems allows us to truly heal, not just manage our lives. It’s nonjudgmental and facilitates gentle change. IFS doesn’t force any part to do anything it isn’t ready to do. Slowly, with a skilled Internal Family Systems therapist, the Self builds trust with these parts. These parts and Self build a relationship and Self approaches these parts with compassion and curiosity.
As the parts come to trust Self, they can lay down their heavy burdens which are exhausting them. As Self begins to run more of the system, the firefighters no longer feel the need to react and disrupt and the managers can find peace and rest without constantly exhausting themselves. This may happens slowly, over time as parts and Self come to trust one another, and it may happen quickly, if Self and the parts are ready to connect with each other. In coming to an understanding and knowledge of your family and your internal world, you can live a life that is congruous to who you are and who you want to be!
Are you interested in starting your healing journey? Learn how IFS Therapy in Colorado Springs can help you on your journey towards harmony, compassion and growth.
