Internal Family Systems Therapy: What to Know About Parts

Maybe you’ve been struggling with anger, shame, or depression. Perhaps you always feel like you’re in conflict with yourself. Yet, you can never quite get out of this rut. You might have lived through experiences that made you feel wounded. You want to guard yourself from further pain, yet deep down, you know this isn’t the path to healing.

Many people who grapple with clinical depression, anxiety, trauma, phobias, and other mental health conditions find relief when they identify the root causes of their symptoms through Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. Through IFS, you can identify the specific “parts” that make up your own internal family system and cultivate inner harmony. Let’s explore what “parts” means in the context of IFS, and how conflict between your parts can affect your mental health.

What Are “Parts” in IFS Therapy?

In IFS therapy, a “part” is a sub-personality within your mental system. These sub-personalities are often defined by negative, painful emotions. This can include anger, shame, and fear.

Each part tries to “protect” you in order to prevent you from feeling the full weight of these emotions again. These parts become discordant with your core Self.

The self represents the confident, calm version of you that exists at your center, even if it’s been a while since you felt that way. Throughout IFS therapy sessions, your counselor will guide you in identifying your parts. In time, you'll understand their purpose and foster a more harmonious mental state.

Managers

There are different categories of “parts” in IFS therapy. Managers are one such category. These are protective parts that aim to help you gain control and establish predictability in your surroundings. Additionally, these parts support you in managing your emotions and taking care of necessary tasks in your everyday life, even when that means suppressing your feelings. Overall, managers try to guard you from experiencing painful or traumatic events again while suppressing your “exiled” parts to keep your emotions in check.

Exiles

Exiles are the parts that hold on to acute shame, pain, and fear from your past difficult experiences and setbacks. These are the parts that your managers try to prevent you from acknowledging. That way, you don’t have to remember the complex, negative emotions associated with those experiences. When you feel like you can’t ignore an exile, it can seem like you’re emotionally spiraling. You often wish you could completely forget these experiences, or that you could somehow stop them from happening in the first place.

Firefighters

What happens when you do start dwelling on an exile part? If you’re faced with overwhelming emotions, and your well-being feels threatened, firefighters move into action. These parts try to block the negative emotions associated with exiles, even if it means engaging in harmful behavior.

The Core Self

When your parts are working cooperatively together, they uplift your core self. This is the part of you that cannot be extinguished. This is true no matter the obstacles you face in life, or the parts that result from these obstacles. Healthy parts do not fight against the self. Instead, they help you become the best version of yourself.

Managers can aid you in staying calm during tough times. Exiles can help you avoid dwelling on negativity. Firefighters can become beneficial coping mechanisms, like exercise, reading, or meditation.

In therapy, you’ll learn how to connect with your core self so that you can get back in touch with your confidence, curiosity, and creativity.

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If you’re curious about Internal Family Systems therapy, and you want to understand how your own parts work, schedule a free consultation with us.