Most people would assume it’s communication – or lack thereof, but actually, researchers John and Julie Gottman found that contempt was the most destructive force in a marriage. They found that this trait in marriages was the most toxic and the biggest predictor of impending divorce.

Sometimes a fight with your partner can feel like the end of the world. You may find yourself wondering, “why does my reaction feel outsized?” or “why am I so triggered to shut down?” These are questions that can be addressed in couples therapy, but that may also warrant some EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy intervention.

The honeymoon phase of a relationship lasts between 18-24 months. Then, so often, after 2 years together they start to feel the romance fade, the spark disappear and the connection fray. But there are some practical things couples can do to keep their connection strong and find meaning in the daily grind.