Attachment injuries from childhood abuse and neglect can wreak havoc on relationships and marriages as an adult. Here are the attachment styles and what they entail.

Have you found yourself or your spouse using phrases like “you never listen” or “you always forget”? Two of the most toxic phrases in a relationship “you never” and “you always” because these critical words undermine your warmth and love in marriage. John and Julie Gottman posit that there are four “horsemen” of the apocalypse that can rear their ugly heads in marriage, and when they do, spouses would be wise to pay attention in order that these horsemen not decimate a marriage.

Most people would assume it’s communication – or lack thereof, but actually, researchers John and Julie Gottman found that contempt was the most destructive force in a marriage. They found that this trait in marriages was the most toxic and the biggest predictor of impending divorce.

Sometimes a fight with your partner can feel like the end of the world. You may find yourself wondering, “why does my reaction feel outsized?” or “why am I so triggered to shut down?” These are questions that can be addressed in couples therapy, but that may also warrant some EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy intervention.

The honeymoon phase of a relationship lasts between 18-24 months. Then, so often, after 2 years together they start to feel the romance fade, the spark disappear and the connection fray. But there are some practical things couples can do to keep their connection strong and find meaning in the daily grind.